YOU'RE FAT, BUT I’D NEVER SAY THAT…

I was four years old.

There was a woman sitting at our kitchen counter on a bar stool.

She was very fat... and that stool was not built for what it was being asked to do. You could see it. Everyone in that room could see it.

I just said what everyone was already thinking.

"Your butt's too big for that stool."

My parents were mortified.

They pulled me aside and made it very clear... we do not say things like that. Even if it is true. Even if it is sitting right in front of us. Even if everyone can see it.

We. Do. Not. Say. It.

I learned that lesson well. Too well.

I have spent most of my life making sure I never made another person uncomfortable with the truth.

A few years back I got another reminder as to why we "JUST DONT SAY THAT"...

I posted a video talking about how I wanted my wife to stay in shape... even after kids. That I had this expectation in my marriage.

The internet lost its mind.

Men who were dating stick skinny models commenting about how "gross" I was... Others messaged me privately saying... man I agree with you completely. Then torched me publicly.

Woman who spent thousands on their looks, boobs, lips, and appearance telling me how “VAIN” I was.

Because that is what we do now. We know the truth. We feel the truth. We just do not SAY the truth.

I created a core value in my company called, TTFT. Tell The Fucking Truth.

I put the F word in there on purpose... because nice honesty is not honesty. Real truth has some weight to it. Real truth costs something to say out loud.

The truth is disruptive and there is no way around that. That is why it is so easy to avoid.

Lately I have fallen back into managing everyone's feelings. The comfort of letting things slide. Saying yes when I meant no. Leaving doors open I should have shut. All to avoid the moment of discomfort that comes with just... telling the truth.

What I didn't see is what all of that yes was actually costing me.

Every time I said yes to someone I didn't want to talk to... I took time from my wife and kids to give it to people I didn't even want around.

Every time I kept someone around out of guilt... I kept something from the people who deserved it most.

The lie we tell ourselves is that being nice costs nothing. It costs everything. Especially to those we care most about.

Stay in the fire and never stop progressing. — Braven Grant